Many of my friends are joking that since my lay-off (a month ago today), I have become a "lady who lunches." I've gone on a number of lunch dates with a variety of different people who have impacted my life. Some I've had lunch with many times before; others I never really had as much quality time. However, something happens when you go through a major change that has you re-evaluate your situation. You become a lot more patient, and you appreciate quality time.
The people that I have seen over the last month have provided me with so much love, support and conversation, that it's hard to get bored! Some of the people I've had lunch with share my story and they too have been laid off. Others are still at the organization. And still others are those friends who have been there through thick and thin. Every single person has helped me to heal.
It's amazing the bond that happens when you have a shared experience. Even though it's something negative, the bond that is created is so positive that it makes you realize it was supposed to happen. I love the lunches with people who have experienced the same thing as me because there is a comfort and an ease about everything you say. You're not trying to be strong; you're not trying to be mad; quite simply put, you don't have to try. And you both are on the same page with regards to time...you have it and you are filling it with things that are good for your heart. I like that.
The people who are still at the organization have also helped me to heal. They make my work there feel so valued. They acknowledge that I'm gone and miss the times that we had. They too are looking for guidance and support and some are hurting just as much. I like meeting with these people because they are still a part of something that I will always love and I appreciate that connection. I also love that they genuinely feel for what I'm going through and show appropriate sympathy. They make me feel like I matter.Then there are those tried and true friends who had nothing to do with the organization but have been there throughout my entire relationship with it. They just get it. They know that it's hard and show sympathy for that, but they also have perspective of life outside these walls. They have faith in me and knew me before this organization, thus giving me confidence for life again outside of the organization. I like these people because they have a permanent seat in my roller coaster of life :)
These lunches have been good for my belly, but more importantly good for my soul. I love taking 2 hours out of my day and just being with one other person...there is nothing better than that connection. Oh, and once things rebound, I look forward to returning the favor and treating these friends to lunch! Life is cyclical like that!
So rather than constantly thinking about what's next, take some time to be in the moment and spend a few hours with a good friend or a former colleague and really listen. Everyone has a story to tell. The best way to support is to allow a person to be heard.
Rachael
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