Stop and Think

Lay-off Tip #15: Give Brotherly Love

In the spirit of Valentine's Day, I've been thinking a lot about love. All kinds of love. But most recently, the idea of brotherly love. How do we love one another? The people we know and the people we don't know.

I was riding the metro home today and a gentleman was walking around with a piece of laminated paper describing his unfortunate situation (deaf, diabetes, homeless) and asking for money. We have all had these experiences before whether on the side of a road, in a mall, walking down the street or riding on a train. But what is fascinating is the reaction given when we have these encounters. The typical response from everyone (at least on my train) was a quick look at the paper, then a shrug saying "no." No eye contact with the gentleman, no asking questions, nothing. Some didn't even read his entire sign. I'm definitely not judging because it's exactly what I did. But it made me stop and think. Why are we so quick to judge people who are asking for a handout?

• Is it because we value needing to work hard for success?
• Do we just not have the money ourselves?
• Are we lazy?
• Is there a negative stigma associated with people asking for something from others?
• Do we assume they will spend the handout on something bad?

At the end of the day, what does it hurt to give someone $.50 or $1.00? Or even $5.00. Why do we stay so strong as to not helping our "brothers" in need? I think about the response I received after being laid off. People were so generous and so willing to lend a hand, buy a lunch or offer a couch to sleep on. True, they know me well and they know my character and with these individuals in question, we don't know a lot about them. But at the end of the day, isn't it our responsibility to look out for our brothers? If we don't take the time to be there for one another, who will?

I know this is a controversial subject and we all may have strong opinions on the matter. But I hope this gives you some pause the next time you see someone in that situation. At the end of the day, we all need a little help sometimes. And it is very difficult to ask someone else for something. But think about the difference you can make - people need encouragement and support. It is hard to ask for a handout and sure there are people out there who may take advantage. But regardless, for a small cost, you can feel good about the difference you are making in someone's life and the fact that you are looking out for your brothers. And let's be honest, you can't be expected to always contribute financially to someone in need. But more importantly than actually giving the money is the way that you treat the person. If you aren't able to give, look them in the eye and say that. Feel for their situation. Compassion goes a long way. We're all in this thing called life together. We will all be down on our luck and there will be a time where you just need someone to say, "I feel for you. I'm here for you. I hope your situation improves." Stop and think.

Do a selfless act this week in the spirit of brotherly love. And if you do it in Philadelphia you get bonus points :)
Rachael